Daily Prompt: Suspicious

via Daily Prompt: Suspicious While he lay there that night seemingly lost in deep slumber she rose from their matrimonial bed and made for the brown furnished closet that  was home to most of their clothes and under the guise of darkness with the motivation of a misguided impression that he was seeing someone else […]

Single On Valentine’s Day

We’ve probably all been down the single on Valentines day road, holding on to dear pride and acting like we are fine with everything when in reality we are cursing.

Remember It’s not your fault that you’re single or maybe it is, it doesn’t matter, you cardinal duty is to emerge on Thursday morning brimming with exuberance like you would on any other day irrespective of your status.

So just incase you find yourself locked in that hullabaloo of misery, cursing your relationship status and gnawing your teeth at the sight of Valentine’s day messages, gift cards, flowers and social media messages that you know  are not meant for you I would like to suggest first and foremost you choose which  direction you want to go because as far as am concerned for single people there are only two possible courses of action, you either play along with or you simply ignore the day and continue with your established routine which i staunchly advise against in preference of a more confrontational approach.

If you chose to ignore the day then you could go to work, study, read a novel like you normally do but just incase you choose to play along then here are a few thing I’ve done in the past in the company of myself and with other people (with the exception of couples, they depress me)

  • Eat Out:  Last year I dressed up nicely and dragged my feet all the way to a restaurant I like and ate rice and pork ribs which happens to be one of my favorite dishes and escorted it away with a beer ( don’t judge me, it’s not yet my favorite drink, besides they were discounted.), so go out dressed to insult the devil, and eat well, the meals  are really cheap on Valentine’s.

 

  • Watch a Movie: I finally watched that “Mad buddies” movie my cousin had hyped a lot and it turned out to be a great watch so instead of sitting on that couch miserably and cursing you ex opt for a movie you haven’t yet watched.

 

  • Attend a Comedy Show: In 2015, I went out for a comedy show just to watch comedians crack jokes at couples and had a field day at it, comedy is good for single people, the comedians tend to prefer trolling people in relationships.

 

  • Poetry: The same year I read an awesome poem on a friend’s timeline on Valentine’s eve and resolved that I would recite to myself.  Although all that came out was a chant similar to those ones used  in casting out demons in Nollywood movies, it took me about two hours in which I memorised romantic lines, turns out it’s a good way to spend time, if you don’t mind looking crazy.

 

  • Galentine: You could try deserting the walls of your room or house and actually meet up with single friends, gang up and have some stress free fun, doesn’t matter what you do. A few years ago I went out with a couple of single friends and had a blast; we literally sang our lungs out at this awesome karaoke bar in Nakasero

 

  • Show Love your way:  I love writing so it’s only natural that I wrote something really nice about my mother back in 2011 when I couldn’t handle the loneliness of Valentine’s and although I considered it just a way to turn my thoughts to text and never really sent them to here, I still hope to give them to her one day. You could reach out to family or friends you value through your art today, doesn’t matter how you do it, could be a text message, poem, song, gift or even a phone call.

 

  • Buy yourself a gift: Two years ago I discovered by eating cookies I was supposed to offer my crush that I had hardly treated myself to any nice things in preference to offering them to people close to me, Valentine’s should be the day you treat “you” well if you’re single.

 

  • Be Thankful: Today I simply went to church since its Ash Wednesday and thanked the good Lord for my family, parents, friends and my ex whose child (my God son) was born today, Ash Wednesday might be a one-off on Valentine’s day but it offered me an opportunity to be grateful for my Godson.

 

  • Surprise your Loved Ones: I also called my Godson Caleb who turns two tomorrow and wished him a “Happy birthday” and although he barely knows what’s happening, am sure he understood from the excitement in my voice that I was happy and it had something to do with him. You see I love kids’ especially when they are not mine. Later in the evening while am probably buried on my phone chatting with my former classmates I will surprise Caleb with a cake I’ve already ordered online just for his birthday.  Surprise people, remind them that you care.

Since am tied down in the wild North of Uganda with no plot or possibility for one, my options are limited so I might just take a tour of the hills, read a book (there lots of em here) or take a nap which is a bad idea, all the same am enjoying Valentine’s Day alone.

Happy Valentine’s day, “all Hail The Single Ones” and as we do that here are a few responses I pulled up from twitter on the #SingleValentinesPlans on how single people will be spending the Love Saint’s day.

BlameShifting

A common trait in human behavior is to ship blame; throw it to the nearest person with the hope that we’ll feel better about ourselves.

And it works perfectly, something happens to us and we are kept from facing the consequences, a denial often saves the day for us. If  it were not it were not for my friend, neighbor,  teacher or even enemy we wouldn’t have screwed up, they messed us up.

At first it’s a one-off to get out of a big mess but soon it becomes habitual, we start to enjoy that feeling of never being wrong, and that’s where the problem comes in.

But the fact is we are human loosely translated in my invented language (see Rhack Lingo) as “people who screw up”  whichever way you translate it however the way I look at it if we are going to make mistakes then we ought to own up.

A quote I love a lot but seldom fail to attribute to its rightful owner suggests that “We can never improve till we become aware of our own bullshit”

Ugandan songstress Cinderella Sanyu sang in one of my favorite songs that “Blame it on the alcohol when you find me hanging out with the waiter” and as much as I loved the lines I’ve aways disagreed with the alcohol card with the exception that you consume the alcohol under duress.

You pave way for having an error of judgment the moment you chose to draw a chilled bottle and empty its contents in your lips not when your drunk, the consequences of your actions under the influence can only be attributed to that choice you make to drink.

Where we go depends on how much we recognize our screw-ups and work on doing things better,  it’s a good day to be alive and it’s an even better day to wake up and sweep our dirt, but first we need to recognize its presence and our role in its existence.

Ninety percent (according to stats rigged by myself) we are locked in places we don’t want to be because of decisions we made. Or those we didn’t make, it doesn’t matter, what does matter in this case however is the fact that we can get out of messes without blaming others and just being honest to ourselves admitting that we had a role to play in our predicament.

You didn’t fail that test or  interview because it was set intentionally to fail you, maybe if you hadn’t been so busy catching a movie that evening that you had to sleep at 3;00am in the morning you would have performed better or if you had prepared better and not had a sip one too many on the eve of the test you would’ve walked into it with a straight head not the foggy mind that you dragged into the test.

That child doesn’t respect you because you prefer drilling sense into his head with a whip instead of talking to him/her not because his mother was stubborn or because the generation is messed up.

I could on and on and give many more examples but the point am trying to push forward is that we mess up, we are mortal, we learn from mistakes, but only if we are willing to admit that we assisted the chaos we are currently locked in.

Of course sometimes things are beyond our control and on those occasions I’ve learnt to believe in thinking that I wasn’t targeted because someone hates me or because the universe is plotting against me but rather I learnt to move on and rise up by telling myself that it’s just a wind that will blow away and wind is never selective, it blows in the whole homestead.

Sucide.

She made attempts to smile brightly in lieu of a possible meeting with her maker. For the deathly pale man who had rushed to her side as soon as she fell; a smile was the last thing on his face. He was scared and kept on shouting hysterically, making noise for her life drained body while attracting attention to the set of pavers that had welcomed her body as it plummeted from the sky.

Streams of dark red blood gushed through the opening on her forehead created from the impact of the fall, she was visibly in pain and she knew there was no way a person could feel this much pain and not be headed to their maker. She made feeble attempts to broaden her smile and laugh feeling good for having cheated life but her strength disrespected her in her time of need.

For her there had been no plan whatsoever to survive and she had carefully timed her jump from the topmost floor of the 12 storied building that housed her workplace.  She had just discovered earlier that morning that she had become surplus to required number of staff after dedicating fifteen years of her existence in which she had worked six days a week, eight hours a day and hardly taken a single momentary leave even when she had felt sick.

In the space of a month she had shifted rank from “employee of the month” for the last six months to becoming expendable. There was no reimbursement for the three weeks she had already worked, in its place was a bureaucratic verbal thank you and we wish you the best  in your next venture.

She hadn’t died as her seventy kilograms hit the tarmac, her death had come from a mental blow struck directly at her ambitions; the realization that she would have to start afresh as a homeless mother this time since she had not yet paid her two months of rent and had been expectant on a salary advance she was going to request from her boss, the fact that she wouldn’t be able to send back her children to school the following day as she’d promised, the displeasing fact that she had taken a loan only days ago and she would be able to pay back her first installment of eight in time.

And deep within she somewhat suspected that she must have brought this upon herself when she had refused the advances  of her boss, maybe if she had accepted she would’ve had her job and would have returned home with money to sort out just a centimeter on her list of problems.

At only thirty-five she was a widow, the benefactor to three children, a pair of female twins aged eight and a visually impaired ten-year old having solely raised her children for the last eight years braving every misfortune as it came without ever flinching in hope that everything would soon be alright if she worked hard enough.

Yet her apparent sacking had dashed those very hopes, casting a dark shadow on not only hers but also her children’s future. As she had walked out of her Human resource manager’s office she had almost fainted as his declaration knocked the air out of her lungs, she didn’t argue or say anything back, her usual smile remained intact on her face only this time she wrestled to widen her lips.

It was only as she had bypassed her desk on the reception that her resolve faltered and she’d found her eyes littering with tears as she recalled how far she had come with this business from its time of inception when its first branch had been opened up in Katwe in a two roomed house where they had been robbed almost every week.

She had grown with her workplace furthering her education by doing short courses in secretarial studies and public administration to execute her job in a more qualified way yet she had been rewarded with a notice of termination of services which she had carelessly offered without ever signing a contract.

As she thought of her upcoming life she felt a ping of hopelessness, she didn’t see a way through her turmoil. Initially she’d had no plans to kill herself, she just dragged her feet up the stairs to the topmost floor and once she was there the sensation of ending it all suddenly appealed to her.

She would never have to be hungry; misery would be anonymous to her, where she was going she would never have bills to pay, no one would unfairly dismiss here, she was there to stay: because at the end of it all we all ultimately belonged there.

She died and orphaned her children.

Photo Challenge: Beloved

via Photo Challenge: Beloved

Keepsake

For a person whose gig description involves taking photographs of people and places every once in a while, I have to admit that it seems rather inconsiderate of me to not have enough photos of myself that I hold dear to heart.

This photo was taken by one of my closest friends Lam Anthony during shooting for our class documentary film project that ended up winning an award at the East African Film Festival.

I attach value to it owing to the fact it taken during an activity that united my whole journalism class into working together for a common goodso we either failed together or scored in unison and am glad it was the latter considering we walked away with not only favorable marks but also an award at a regional competition.

Besides its the only photo I have with my classmates in which I really look surprisingly cool with em Calvin Klein shades😎

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