Alone

Sunday mornings are meant to be relaxed,
but I don’t feel the calm a single bit,
So I try to recollect the conversations,
Browse through texts, stickers and emojis,
hope that I’ll discover something new,
Anything to bring back the heights you brought to life.

The things that helped me get by when you were away,
Now offer momentary happiness,
I smile but then in no time I start to get teary,
then put my phone down, but only for a while,
Because I still need to feel your grace,
figure if I keep going through the moments,
You’ll still be there and I’ll be closer to you that way.

If I still keep the memories intact,
Then I can live in a verse that has just you and me,
One where I didn’t hurt you,
One where we’re both happy,
Where the distance isn’t more profound
and you’re still a dial away at any time.

But now things are back to the way they were before you,
Me before you was a pessimist,
filled with a thousand reasons why it wouldn’t work,
wired with doubt and rigged with explosives,
ticking into nothingness and loneliness,
disillusioned with the human race.

But then through his grace I knew you,
and the gifts that were embedded in you,
As you selflessly shared your joy,
You helped me rediscover mine,
With your energy, you shone a light into my gloom
And it was only fair that I get dragged along,
The only logical result was that I’d catch feelings,
I’d soar in the skies you made like a kite;
Weightless, young, and elated.

But like a gangster who can’t help but return to the streets,
I took fault with gravity and the heights that you introduced,
So I find myself back to square one,
Without the one person, I’d have loved to keep,
So I settle for the prison I’ve graciously built for myself,
Hidden from the light you brought,
Lost, defeated and hopeless like I deserve.